words.in.b.minor.

i found this at: www.blyberg.net.  i love this and want to incorporate it regularly in my blog.

Michael has joined a new band, Honky Tonk G-Spot. I’m excited about this one. Not only because Michael is playing with a rockabilly band but we now have an upright bass in our home. I haven’t seen him play with them yet, but if I can get my little cousin to watch the kids tomorrow night, they are playing at Mac’s C’mon Inn, 9pm.

this is Michael, before we met, playing bass with his old band The Last Call Brawlers.  This was a afternoon side gig on one of their tours in CA.  This is the same tour when Michael’s beautiful bass fell over into oblivion. A sad sad day.

this is the line of clothing and what not that i am pursuing.  here’s a link to fair ophelia, named after my daughter.

i’ve added a side section that reveals where i really daydream the most.

last wed. it was beautiful, sunny and reaching 70 degrees, but then by the next morning it was 20 degrees and we continued to get 4 inches of snow. a little bit strange. the funny thing is that the day before we just finished watching al gore’s “an inconvenient truth.” it surprisingly was a great film. al was articulate and i only fell asleep because i was truly too tired. i was skeptical throughout the whole film because it just seemed to have amazing facts backed with scientific info, but lacked any solutions. the skepticism ended with the closing credits, were they listed all the things that one could do to help reducing emissions. even though the solutions were a small part of the movie, it seems that the main purpose was just to overthrow any contradicting viewpoints (usually steeped in science-based conclusions). i didn’t know that al gore had been involved in the environment for as long as he had and it made me think about how he portrayed himself during his last political campaigns, as a middle-of-the-road tree hugger. i know that he was just trying to keep votes with the more right-leaning moderates, but to us more radical idealists he would of been much more believable if he stuck to his guns. i think that everyone should see the film and try not to feel like our kids are going to see the end of anything green, breathable and beautiful.

this is the beginning of something.  and it probably won’t have many capital letters, correct grammar, but all of my writer friends and husband are used to it by now.  i’ve started this with a growling stomach, a half-smoked cigarette ( waiting patiently outside), a six inch incision with staples , no more percaset, and a hormonal frenzy just waiting to explode.

so about the staples… i just had emergency surgery, one week ago, and i’m just now starting to ponder.  because of the iud (in utero birth control)  i developed an ectopic pregnancy.  so basically until i had surgery, there was a seven week fetus, well baby, growing in my left fallopian tube.  imagine an inch in diameter ball squeezed into the innards of an ink pen.  it never occurred to me what happened until fours days after i left the hospital, that i had lost a baby.  confusing to suddenly feel this way.  to feel sad and cry over something that almost took your life, over something that you didn’t want.  i realized that i started to mourn the child that could of been another addition to my family.  i was then upset that when the doctor told me, taking my shoulder in her hand and looking me sadly in the eye, that there was no way to continue with the pregnancy, that i smiled and said that we weren’t planning on having anymore kids.  i never even thought of it as a baby until afterwards.   i’ll have my scar as remembrance.  another hieroglyphic to touch throughout my life.